From the science-fiction series, The VOX of SU’s SHELL
“On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.” – George Orwell
Dr. Mary J. Sus was a scientist. Specifically, Dr. Sus was a biomedical engineer that had an interest in creating experimental models to replace the use of animals in medical science. Dr. Sus spent most of her career struggling with the miss-use of genetically modified mice for human clinical research, knowing that mice were not of men, and men were not of mice.
Mary grew up with the nickname Je.
Named after her grandmother Mary (Mother Mary), Je went by her middle name. Her parents could never agree on whether to give her the middle name Joan or Jane, so they signed her birth certificate with the middle initial J. With Mother Mary watching over little Mary to help Mary’s mother, she was called little J. Only little J pronounced it Je when she referred to herself, as in “Je” wants. Ironically, “Je” translates to “I,” as in “I want.” So came the nickname Je.
As a little girl, Je always wanted to know “why?” and often left a trail of broken toys and gadgets in her wake. She was as destructive as she was creative.
Like Mary Shelley’s Dr. Frankenstein, she wanted to come to understand life by creating but did not always appreciate or understand her creations, and often destroyed them.
Little Je anthropomorphized everything she played with as a kid. So, when she destroyed her creations in curiosity, she felt horrible remorse and guilt. As a kid, everything was alive; everything had a life. In her young mind, she thought that God created her to be human, and everybody and everything else, was created to test her in life. She never quite felt like she could live up to the test; because of the flaw in her thinking. She would give life to a doll that had similar qualities to a human; albeit value human life as it were identical to that of her doll’s.
It was not that Je did not think of human’s as being alive, but that everything around her was alive and had a life. Her anthropomorphic disorder probably had a lot to do with why she became a biologist that studied the engineering of life.
While Je struggled with human interaction, she was not entirely anti-social or incapable of human relationships. She was just selective. Each connection she made had to be unique and worth keeping sacred.
Je was not always a Sus. Je was born Mary J. Mendel.
Je married into the name Sus.
Je’s husband was a carpenter named Christopher Thomas Sus (Chris T.).
Chris was contracted by the medical school to make specialized benches and shelves for the lab Je worked in during graduate school. Je walked into the lab while it was under construction and found Chris talking to himself in a way she found irresistible and charming.
She giggled and asked him, “are you talking to yourself or the wood?”
He said, “to both I guess.”
“Which one answers back?” She replied curiously.
“The wood!” He told her with a grin.
And that was it for them. Je and Chris knew then and there that somehow they had a sacred relationship worth keeping a lifetime. It was like they always had an inside joke that never needed explaining.
It became an inside joke between the couple before they got married that she would become Je-Sus through her marriage to Chris-T.
Being that Je Sus translates to “I Am,” Je came to find herself when she married Chris. At least a different version of her; a version that made her want to be a better person for someone other than herself.
Je struggled with general social interactions; especially with the interactions that tested her humanity. She wanted to be good but found it hard to silence her inner dialogue when she failed to understand others; which was often.
Many people genuinely do not want to be saints, and it is probable that some who achieve or aspire to sainthood have never felt much temptation to be human beings. –George Orwell.
Contrary to Je’s name, she didn’t always do as Jesus would do.
“I am human!”, the proud human cries with the offense; “I am only human.”, the human argues in defense. –Dr. Mary J. Sus